Leave your name and number
No, not really, unless you just want to. The title will explain itself later in the post.
Okay, visceral, spontaneous, I can do this. Hmm, I've got it! I'll look up spontaneous in the dictionary, yeah. Plan ahead. That way, when I'm being spontaneous, I'll be prepared.
[thumbing through internet pages at high speed]
Here we go... let's see... "spontaneous"... "acting, reacting, or happening without apparent forethought or prompting"... Well, that can't be right. Who writes this crap!? Like I'm supposed to believe some asshole named "Webster"... I saw that show when I was a kid, and the guy's about two feet tall! He'd have to stand on twenty dictionaries just to make the fight fair. Well, anyone of you see him first, tell him I'm gonna "spontaneously" kick his ass from a to z.
-----------------------------------------------------
Where was I?
Alright. To begin: I work in a commercial interiors architecture firm. We specialize in deceiving ourselves into believing that what we do really constitutes "architecture". We also, as a side job, stump for leasing agencies that rent space in existing office buildings, both large and small. Typically, the bottom line is a basic, no-frills build-out for whatever the prospective tenant might desire. Hell, they could just be running around in those spaces naked as jaybirds all day long. Whatever, as long as its legal, I don't care. If it's illegal, you know, leave your name and number.
Anyway, when it rains it pours and work is plentiful. Work has not been plentiful lately, and I am on reduced hours.
Without getting into the messy details of what it takes to get registered as an architect, you could basically say I am still in training pants and, thus, low man on the totem pole at my office. Job security, you say? Never heard of him. My job title is merely a euphemism for "CAD monkey". I can build you a house, but it wouldn't be out of stacks of hundred dollar bills, if you know what I mean. If you have stacks of hundred dollar bills laying around, again, leave your name and number.
Anyway, I walk into work this morning fashionably late. On time but late compared to you because I'm on reduced hours. And fashionably because I have to wear slacks and a tie to sit in front of a computer most days. The boss has been frantically trying to reach me, they say. Really? Did someone drop a multi-million dollar design project in our laps? Oh, I can take the day off. Not much work, I see. Hmm... boy, do I feel like an asshole standing here in this monkey suit. They claimed to have called me, to which I replied, "Did you leave your name and number!?!?!?!?"
:D
In a strange way, it reminds me of joke from The Simpsons. Marge rounds the corner into the living room to find Homer sacked out in front of the TV, presumably letting the waves wash over him. His one daily bath, perhaps?
Anyway, she says (and I paraphrase), "Homer, that was your boss on the phone. He said, if you don't come in to work tomorrow, don't bother coming in on Monday either."
Homer, without hesitation, raises his fist in the air and exclaims, "Woohoo! Four day weekend!"
Okay, visceral, spontaneous, I can do this. Hmm, I've got it! I'll look up spontaneous in the dictionary, yeah. Plan ahead. That way, when I'm being spontaneous, I'll be prepared.
[thumbing through internet pages at high speed]
Here we go... let's see... "spontaneous"... "acting, reacting, or happening without apparent forethought or prompting"... Well, that can't be right. Who writes this crap!? Like I'm supposed to believe some asshole named "Webster"... I saw that show when I was a kid, and the guy's about two feet tall! He'd have to stand on twenty dictionaries just to make the fight fair. Well, anyone of you see him first, tell him I'm gonna "spontaneously" kick his ass from a to z.
-----------------------------------------------------
Where was I?
Alright. To begin: I work in a commercial interiors architecture firm. We specialize in deceiving ourselves into believing that what we do really constitutes "architecture". We also, as a side job, stump for leasing agencies that rent space in existing office buildings, both large and small. Typically, the bottom line is a basic, no-frills build-out for whatever the prospective tenant might desire. Hell, they could just be running around in those spaces naked as jaybirds all day long. Whatever, as long as its legal, I don't care. If it's illegal, you know, leave your name and number.
Anyway, when it rains it pours and work is plentiful. Work has not been plentiful lately, and I am on reduced hours.
Without getting into the messy details of what it takes to get registered as an architect, you could basically say I am still in training pants and, thus, low man on the totem pole at my office. Job security, you say? Never heard of him. My job title is merely a euphemism for "CAD monkey". I can build you a house, but it wouldn't be out of stacks of hundred dollar bills, if you know what I mean. If you have stacks of hundred dollar bills laying around, again, leave your name and number.
Anyway, I walk into work this morning fashionably late. On time but late compared to you because I'm on reduced hours. And fashionably because I have to wear slacks and a tie to sit in front of a computer most days. The boss has been frantically trying to reach me, they say. Really? Did someone drop a multi-million dollar design project in our laps? Oh, I can take the day off. Not much work, I see. Hmm... boy, do I feel like an asshole standing here in this monkey suit. They claimed to have called me, to which I replied, "Did you leave your name and number!?!?!?!?"
:D
In a strange way, it reminds me of joke from The Simpsons. Marge rounds the corner into the living room to find Homer sacked out in front of the TV, presumably letting the waves wash over him. His one daily bath, perhaps?
Anyway, she says (and I paraphrase), "Homer, that was your boss on the phone. He said, if you don't come in to work tomorrow, don't bother coming in on Monday either."
Homer, without hesitation, raises his fist in the air and exclaims, "Woohoo! Four day weekend!"
posted by ruby maser at 5/31/2005 05:22:00 PM
8 Comments:
OMG, I was laughing out loud. Thank you. My cat replied in many cat-like trilling meows telling me to get-the-fuck-off-the-computer.
Show's now standing on my photog catalog, threatening to shred it if I don't ... [drum roll please] get-the-fuck-off-the-computer.
Oh, shit, sorry Ruby. I didn't ask, can I swear on your blog or is that something you refuse to take as well?
P.S. that monkey suit sounds awful. Mine is a striped tank and pink boy-cuts. Ahhh, with a breeze coming in the window. The window over-looking a beautiful pond and lots of geese and baby geese. Lots of geese that I gaze at while lying about and reading and ...
I shouldn't brag too much.
Anyway, you can do it too. What with your reduced hours and all. Maybe I just don't recommend the boy-cuts.
Show's now standing...
Good Loard.
There I do it again.
I'm tired. L8R
Oh, and I really really really hate to have to tell you this ...
Ugh. I'm such a brat!
You have two of 'the' in your main title's sub-title ... it's just so crafted I assumed ... maybe ... you ... didn't ... mean ... to.
*-| hee hee that's my version of a clockwork orange.
Oh oh oh! I forgot to mention,
My little brother uses CAD too (I beeelieve) he's a draftsman engineer for an interior custom design company.
Neat-o!
He's working 55+ hours/week and they're hiring another one b/c they don't see it slowing down. AREN'T YOU EXCITED TO HEAR THAT?
Where to begin? I've gotta squeeze this down to one reply *wink, wink* because I'm at work and technically I'm supposed to be working. It's their thing. Don't ask me why ;)
For one, who is this "Show"? I thought your cat's name was Violet...
Yes, you can swear on my blog. Damnit, swear! Who's got the upper hand here? You're my only commenter, and I'm not going back to talking to these four walls again. The guy in the next blog plays his music loud to all hours of the night. It's the cusp of insanity here.
I fixed the problem with the sub-title ;D
Love the clockwork orange emoticon. Very cool! I may have to borrow that and hang it on the walls in here somewhere.
I'm very excited to here someone is overflowing with work. 55+ hours a week and no bathroom breaks beats this any day. He's a Minnesite too, I guess? Hell, hook me up with a job. I can survive anywhere, as long as there's no snow. There's no snow there, right? :D
When I have time this evening, I thought I'd illustrate what a photograper might have to suffer for their art.
Later.
Hmmm, interesting, what kind of illustration? Literal or verbal?
AWESOME job on the 'the the' problem. I like it.
[dead pan look]
Yeah. No.
No,
There's No Snow
in Minne-snow-ta.
Actually, B2 HATES how little snow we got this year. And praise Jesus if it ever stops raining. Thanks May, really, "made my month."
[she continues grumbling ... and yawns ... time for breakfast]
Pictorial illustration. I'm in architecture, so naturally I can't draw.
It's nothing big. It's just what some poor photographer looked through the lens and saw.
Crap. So I can't be in architecture. And I thought it'd be my lack of affinity for math.
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