...a cure for what ails ya
I tried to write a piece about the blues... (That's right. I can get moody from time to time.) ...but I erased it because it was cheering me up; I can't write about catatonic despair when I'm all happy! ;)
I wouldn't say I suffer from clinical depression, but my psychiatrist always said not to diagnose myself. He'd say, "This isn't a democracy! I shrink your head! You can't shrink your own head! Even if you could, you can't do it here. ...Insurance purposes. You understand, right? I'm sorry I yelled. Time's up. Uh, I'll see you next week?"
I don't really have I psychiatrist, and I'm not really in therapy. But if I was, that'd be the one I'd get. ...The type of quack that needs a psychiatrist of their own, and where does it end? :D
I have had anxiety attacks in the past that landed me Xanax prescriptions and whopping medical bills that give me more anxiety attacks so I have to go in for more Xanax prescriptions and whopping medical bills that give me more anxiety attacks so I have to... You get the point.
Fortunately, I haven't had those episodes (spells, to the rural folk) in a few years, but when I did, I was given referrals to pschiatrists and psychologists. (One even gave me the number of a ventriloquist! Yeah, yeah, your brother-in-law's a deadbeat and won't get off your couch, but he's very good with puppets. Okay, I'll keep it in mind.)
I never called them... the psychiatrists, I mean, but the deadbeat ventriloquist brother-in-law opened up to me like I was charging a hundred dollars and hour. Heh heh. I kid.
Anyway, once you get locked into to a serious therapy session addiction, they'll psychiatrize until your broke. Keep asking you how things makes you feel until you literally feel like snapping. Try selling you their ghost-written psychiatry self-help books entitled... Baby Steps!!! (What About Bob, anyone? Bill Murray is a badass) I'd have to be just like Murray's character just to even out all the bad blood between myself and my shrink.
Well, I think writing this blog has helped cheer me up a bit. It was as therapeutic as it has been purported to be. (I purport every once in a while, for those that don't know.) Perhaps, it was the week or so since my last post that has brought me to such a lowly state. If so, I know my prescription and my fate. One of the other voices in my head keeps chanting "more blog, more blog". (His name is diamond_maser) :p
Interestingly, my cynicism about modern psychiatry and psychology is apropos. After all, what was my first degree choice in college before architecture? You guessed it... psychology. You can call me nuts. But thanks to a change of heart, you're wasting your time if you call me for an appointment.
So, get sweet revenge on every therapist you ever had. Next time a doctor asks you, "Do you have a pychiatrist?" You can say, "No. But I have a blog."
And as for those psychiatrists, send them to me. As an architect, I may only be able to build them a clinic, but rest assured; I'll do so at a hundred dollars an hour!
Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
[P.S. - For background reading on mental illness, I highly recommend Ren & Stimpy's "Space Madness" episode. If you are looking to go nuts with laughter, very instructive stuff]
I wouldn't say I suffer from clinical depression, but my psychiatrist always said not to diagnose myself. He'd say, "This isn't a democracy! I shrink your head! You can't shrink your own head! Even if you could, you can't do it here. ...Insurance purposes. You understand, right? I'm sorry I yelled. Time's up. Uh, I'll see you next week?"
I don't really have I psychiatrist, and I'm not really in therapy. But if I was, that'd be the one I'd get. ...The type of quack that needs a psychiatrist of their own, and where does it end? :D
I have had anxiety attacks in the past that landed me Xanax prescriptions and whopping medical bills that give me more anxiety attacks so I have to go in for more Xanax prescriptions and whopping medical bills that give me more anxiety attacks so I have to... You get the point.
Fortunately, I haven't had those episodes (spells, to the rural folk) in a few years, but when I did, I was given referrals to pschiatrists and psychologists. (One even gave me the number of a ventriloquist! Yeah, yeah, your brother-in-law's a deadbeat and won't get off your couch, but he's very good with puppets. Okay, I'll keep it in mind.)
I never called them... the psychiatrists, I mean, but the deadbeat ventriloquist brother-in-law opened up to me like I was charging a hundred dollars and hour. Heh heh. I kid.
Anyway, once you get locked into to a serious therapy session addiction, they'll psychiatrize until your broke. Keep asking you how things makes you feel until you literally feel like snapping. Try selling you their ghost-written psychiatry self-help books entitled... Baby Steps!!! (What About Bob, anyone? Bill Murray is a badass) I'd have to be just like Murray's character just to even out all the bad blood between myself and my shrink.
Well, I think writing this blog has helped cheer me up a bit. It was as therapeutic as it has been purported to be. (I purport every once in a while, for those that don't know.) Perhaps, it was the week or so since my last post that has brought me to such a lowly state. If so, I know my prescription and my fate. One of the other voices in my head keeps chanting "more blog, more blog". (His name is diamond_maser) :p
Interestingly, my cynicism about modern psychiatry and psychology is apropos. After all, what was my first degree choice in college before architecture? You guessed it... psychology. You can call me nuts. But thanks to a change of heart, you're wasting your time if you call me for an appointment.
So, get sweet revenge on every therapist you ever had. Next time a doctor asks you, "Do you have a pychiatrist?" You can say, "No. But I have a blog."
And as for those psychiatrists, send them to me. As an architect, I may only be able to build them a clinic, but rest assured; I'll do so at a hundred dollars an hour!
Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
[P.S. - For background reading on mental illness, I highly recommend Ren & Stimpy's "Space Madness" episode. If you are looking to go nuts with laughter, very instructive stuff]
posted by ruby maser at 6/26/2005 03:29:00 PM
9 Comments:
Baby step to four o'clock.
BABY step TO four o'clock.
BABY STEP TO FOUR O'CLOCK!
I think psychiatrists are great for some people, but if you don't feel the need it may not help you. Yes, keep blogging. It's fun and therapeutic! (to read too!)
Yeah, I was a bit rough on those guys and gals. But I was gonna be one for a while, so it's kind of acceptable.
Kind of like when Seinfeld's dentist converted to Judaism so he could use Jewish jokes without taking flak. And Kramer accused Seinfeld of being an 'anti-dentite'. Hehe.
Well, I'm no anti-psychiatrite. I agree that they certainly can be very helpful for those in need.
Still, going nuts and liking it or blogging as a remedy seem like cheaper alternatives for what ails me. :D
Yes, yes. Do tell what ails you.
Seems I have the precursor to carpal tunnel syndrome.
When I don't type, it hurts. Go figure.
...which invariably leads to the real thing.
Really? Is it just your wrists that hurt when you're not typing or a numbness in your fingers (pinky and ringfinger are first affected).
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression.
I was just joking that it hurt mentally (or emotionally, I guess) when I didn't blog. Not really, but there seems to be an addictive quality about it that maybe I miss if I don't do it.
I just meant that I type to prevent that feeling which will probably give me a physical reaction eventually.
I've been playing guitar for about ten years now. Surprisingly, I've gotten away without any difficulties there so far. Stretching exercises have helped.
But with repetitive stress syndrome from the typing and mouse actions I've been heavily into for the last 3 years or so, I'd say I'm about due.
But, again, sorry for the mix up though.
Please, no apologies needed.
It's much funnier now that I understand.
I love listening to acoustic guitar, write about how you feel about playing, etc, someday.
I picked a guitar up once, put my hands where I was told to and was immediately in pain. Not an option for me. I had to stop playing piano too... but alas, it doesn't stop me from loading 470 photos into albums ... and I have 730 to go. Luckily I don't need to shoot this coming weekend.
:)
I'm sad to hear that you wanted to play but couldn't because of injury. It is a great hobby and piano, too.
I'll make the next post about it after this one I'm gonna put up today.
If you truly are a fan of acoustic guitar and live music, you're light years ahead of most of my family. Most of them regarded it all with apathy or even hostility when I've played around them.
But I love the stuff. That's one reason I'm a fan of Dave Matthews' solo work with Tim Reynolds. Great acoustic guitar duo. No drums, no bass, just stripped down to a rhythm and lead guitar and Dave singing. The 'Live at Luther College' album is amazing.
Dave and rest of the band are coming to town in September (?), and I'll probably miss it. But if Dave and Tim came to town, I'd do what I had to do to get those tickets.
Anyway, I'll post more on it soon.
:)
la de da
waaaiiiitinng fooor thheee muuusiiccc tooo sttarrrrttt
I think the Anger Management Tour 3 is going to get started. I want to catch that ;)
I went to the first or second one.
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